Age: 17 Height: 5'10" Weight: 130 BMI: 18.7 :( Dress Size: 7 Highest Weight: 145 Lowest Weight: 120 Goal Weight: 115 Favorite Diet Food: ice berg Favorite Binge Food: candy, liqurice Favorite Exercise: weigths, biking Thinspo: mary and kate olsen, I AM - [ ] anorexic [x] ednos [ ] bulimic [ ] living off diet pills [ ] hungry [x] thirsty [ x] drinking something [ ] Under 100lbs [ ] starving myself [] participating in a fast PEOPLE - [ ] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic [] call me fat [x] say I’m skinny [ ] say I’m ugly [ ] say I’m pretty [ ] spread rumors about me [ ] force me to eat [ x] say I eat too much [ ] wish I’d eat more [ ] don't know I'm anorexic/bulimic I WISH - [x] I was THIN [x] I had a better body [x] I didn't have to eat [x] I could control myself [ ] I was under 110lbs [x] I could avoid food [ ] I could hide what I am [x] I wasn’t fat [x] I was pretty [ ] I could stop being ana/mia I LOVE - [ ] feeling hungry [ ] seeing a difference when fasting [ ] shaking [ x] being weak [x] losing weight [ ] being anorexic/bulimic [ x] green tea [ ] diet pills [x] being able to turn down food [x] feeling good about myself APPEARANCE [ ] I am shorter than 5'4. [x] I think I'm ugly sometimes. [ ] I have many scars. [x] I tan easily. [ ] I wish my hair was a different color. [ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color. [] have a tattoo. [x] I am self-conscious about my appearance. [x] I have/had braces. [ ] I wear glasses. [ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. [ ] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger. [x ] I have more than 2 piercings. [ I have piercings in places besides my ears. [ ] I have freckles. FAMILY [ ] I've sworn at my parents. [ x] I've run away from home. [ ] I've been kicked out of the house. [x ] My biological parents are together. [ ] I have a sibling less than one year old. [x] I want to have kids someday. [ ] I've had children. [ ] I've lost a child. EMBARRASSMENT [ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation. [ ] Disney movies still make me cry. [ ] I've peed from laughing. [x] I've snorted while laughing. [x] I've laughed so hard I've cried. [ ] I've glued my hand to something [x] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose. [ x] I've had my trousers rip in public. RELATIONSHIPS [ ] I'm single [ ] I'm in a relationship. [ ] I'm engaged. [ ] I'm married. [ ] I've gone on a blind date. [x] I miss someone right now. [x] I have a fear of abandonment. [x] I've cheated in a relationship. [ ] I've gotten divorced [ x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't. [ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did. [ ] I've kept something from a past relationship. SEXUALITY [x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex. [x] I've had a crush on a teacher. [ ] I've been kissed in the rain. [ ] I've hugged a stranger. [ ] I have kissed a stranger. HONESTY [x ] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't [x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't. [x ] I've snuck out of the house. [ x] I have lied to my parents about where I am. [ x] I am keeping a secret from the world [ ] I've cheated while playing a game. [x ] I've cheated on a test. [ ] I've been suspended from school. BAD TIMES [x] I've consumed alcohol. [ ] I regularly drink. [ ] I can't swallow pills. [ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. [ ] I shut others out when I'm upset. [ ] I take anti-depressants. [ x] I'm anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS. [ x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it. [x] I've hurt myself on purpose. [ ] I'm addicted to self harm. [x] I've woken up crying [x] I've lost weight [x] I've gained weight [x] My weight holds me back [x] Weight consumes me. [ ] I'm at my thinnest [ ] I'm at my biggest [x ] I've lost weight and kept it off [ ] I've lost weight but gained it back [x] My weight affects my mood [ ] I weigh myself daily [x] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me [x ] I thrive on compliments [x] I feel bigger than people who are my size [ ] I feel happy when I'm hungry [x] I get depressed after I eat [x] I've skipped a meal [ x] I've thrown food away [x] I've spit food out [ I've fasted [ ] I've taken diet pills [ ] I've used laxatives [ ] I've purged [ ] Bulimia [ ] Anorexia [x] Ednos [ ] Orthorexia [ ] Over-exercising [x] Binge eating [x] I exercise [x] I exercise so I can eat [ ] I work out secretly [ ] I work out daily [x] I exercise to counteract eating [ ] I've fainted from exhaustion I've done: [ ] Weed [x] Cigarettes [x] Alcohol [ ] Diet pills [ ] Pain killers [ ] Anti-depressants [ ] Ecstasy [ ] LSD [ ] Mushrooms [ ] Speed [ ] Cocaine [ ] Other [x] I keep my eating habits a secret [x] I have an ED blog [x] I look at thinspo [x] I collect thinspo [ ] I condone pro-ana/mia sites [x] I count calories [ ] I've had negative intake days [x] I avoid food [x] I hate food [x] I love food [x] I wish I could have more control [x ] Being thin is my top priority [x ] I want to get better [ ] I am in treatment [x] I'm doing this for me [ ] I'm doing this for someone [x] I'm doing this to prove myself

Juhuu im back at 123 .. im extatic.. dont have much time bc my dad is being a butt.  .. well almost everything is going well . i went swingdancing .. it was so fun . a lot of cute guys at my age and a little older .. but doesnt help anything, when i only want one man, and i cant get him.. fell lonely at nigth and happy at nigth . went to la fitness today, went home and realized that i had forgot my bathing suit . so had to bike 15 miles there and 15 back . i was tomato red in my face. eww . well im having a great weekend . next weekend im going to jacksonville, staying at the beach the entire weekend , doing hw, running etc. well comment if you feel like it . hope everyone is doing good . love you all ..

Argh .. Im breaking down !! My weight gets higher and higher . .. My mom said today that she thinks that i shall lose a few pounds .. when my mom says i shall lose weigth its really bad .. Im just spending all my days in a big t shirt and my nigthy shorts . Eating, watching tv and be bored ..Plus i think i migth be depressed .. i am not happy, im sad all the time, cant see anything good . just want to sleep ALL THE TIME. !  I really dont have a life. Really .. I think i watch tv like 14 hours per day . its sick, unhealthy and everything else .. Rigth now im watching killer hair (again) .. I dont have the energy to do anything . please give me some sort of advice . im really breaking under ..